This road has been challenging, and every time I feel we're making progress, something else seems to set us back. We are currently a month behind on our mortgage payments. Scott needs to transfer his assets to me and be removed from the title of our car and home—yet I don’t have enough income myself to cover these payments, nor do I have good enough credit since all credit cards were in my name to protect his credit history. Scott had a fusion of his L5/S1 vertebrae 3 weeks ago and may require surgery on his left shoulder soon after that. He is still recovering from that - he is not to twist or bend from the waist, and is to use his walker or wheelchair at all times for at least 9 more weeks, and he is complaining that it is taking too long. He tires easily and takes a 3- to 5-hour nap almost every day; on the days he doesn't, he sleeps 10 to 12 hours that night. It is hard as he is still also recovering from the two cataract surgeries and Cardiac Catheterization Labs he underwent in March and April this year. His memory and cognitive abilities seem to be progressively declining, though when we are out and about with others, he appears okay; it just exhausts him physically, mentally, and emotionally. For example, during his long-term care assessment, he performed very well—better than he had at the doctor's office, actually. But he had to lie down for a three-and-a-half-hour nap before that person had even left our driveway. He loves to greet people at church, and he did so at the Fireworks Concert, but it took three and a half days for him to recover to the point that we couldn’t go to church, nor was he able to attend his cardiac rehab or physical therapy the following Monday.
So, where do we go from here? First, I turn to God, leaning heavily on His Truth and grace. I rest in His peace, provision, and love. Second, I must trust and share the truth of our situation with others, and as difficult as it is, accept that no one is obligated or required to help. We got ourselves into this situation, and it is our fault for not properly preparing for the future. Third, I must take care of myself—spiritually, mentally, and physically — so I can better care for and help Scott finish well.
"Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord; seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence. For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust. Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love. For is these qualities are yours and are increasing, they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ."
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